


Rest

by TariTheNurse



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Coping, Crying, Dark, Death, Depression, Emotional Baggage, Established Relationship, F/M, Fear, Feels, Healing, Help, Loss, Mental Health Issues, OCD, Pain, Panic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Responsibility, Sadness, Self-Sacrifice, Selfneglect, Support, Tears, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, anguish, hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:03:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23706133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TariTheNurse/pseuds/TariTheNurse
Summary: It's hard to watch someone suffer when there's nothing you can do to take away their pain.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, pepperony
Kudos: 1





	Rest

“Tony!” She knew the words fell on deaf ears, but she couldn’t give up. Not yet. “It’s a double edged sword. Others will -”

He  had already turned his back to her. “This isn’t  _ for _ others, Pep, this’s  _ my _ project...something I just gotta do...”

It d id n’t matter that she  was standing right behind him, staring at the hunched back and muscular arms that  we re wielding tools in a never ending attempt to stave off the nightmares he ke pt seeing  even  when he  wa s awake. No. She could just as well  have been worlds away. If only he could  have  be en satisfied once a new suit was finished – better than the one before – so he finally c ould take the time he need ed to  heal. 

Ever since he had been held captive Tony Stark ha d not know n peace of mind, but it was the battle with the aliens that brought the nightmares like carrion  crows trailing behind the violent conquests of history.  Pepper saw the shadows of their wings on his face where gaunt lines wo uld n’t disappear entirely. She hear d their screams when he wrestle d during sleep, his broken sobs breaking her heart until he w oke with a start.

As long as the sun  wa s up, Tony Stark put on a brave face. Bright smile s and quick-witted humour fool ed others to believe everything  wa s fine...but Pepper s aw the fear  like a cold spark in his eyes. D id he think it ma de him weak? Being afraid – especially after all h e ha d been through –  was simply an overload of the survival instinct. 

_"I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do; and I know in my heart, that it's right."_

A nd of course she knew he wasn’t crazy. He was a good man and she would always be there for him to help him through the dark times in whichever way he needed.

Gently, determined, she would make sure Tony ate properly by cooking for him or ordering take out to satisfy the obscure cravings that would flare up during the brief moments where he felt okay. There was still too much alcohol until she found a way to distract him from that – because not everything was as important as the eternal project of keeping the world safe.

He saw anything as a potential threat.  Memorized the blueprints of all the buildings he went into. Ran thorough background checks on every single person that came into contact with himself or those he cared about. The same went for anyone with a hint of power.

“I need to make sure, baby,” Tony would apologize each time.

She would hug him, hold him until his breathing slowed a little bit. “They’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay even if you take a break.”

“Break...break...hold that thought!” And he’d be off again, making sure no one could break in or nothing in some machine could snap and cause damage.

Always working. Never resting.

Tony Stark had become a pessimist hiding behind the glitter and jazz of an invincible hero. At least it meant he wasn’t easily shocked when danger came knocking again. And again. And again. It provided a certain calm, being right; and if nothing actually did happen then he  enjoyed being pleasantly surprised for a moment before starting all over again with the preparations, and fail saves, and suits that needed upgrades. Just in case.

“I can rest when I’m dead.”

“Don’t say that, Tony.”

When he came back, too weak from hunger to walk the grass of the Compound, he was a changed man. Finally, he didn’t need to save the world. Didn’t want to try anymore.

It took a long time to find the Tony she had fallen in love with and married. Took even longer to piece him back together with the help of all the professionals available – but he let her. The old shadows were still there but they were tugged away, hidden behind each broken shard as they got glued back in place with gold and love. 

F inally, the day he felt their baby kick, he smiled.  H is energy returned. He had a new project. 

Something to live for.

Something to die for.

“You can rest now,” she whispers.

As the presence slips from his eyes, she sees the peace of the brilliant mind behind it. There are no fears. The nightmares and carrion crows  screaming have been chased away for good. Tony Stark  no longer has to worry .


End file.
